you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
