I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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