I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You dont lie about slip and slides
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
