You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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