There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
