2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
