you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
