Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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