So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
