maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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