Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
