oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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