my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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