You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize