He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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