You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
