i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
