Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
