saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
there is glitter all over my balls
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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