I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
