There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
