Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
