i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
