you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
3pm strippers are depressing
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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