I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
