What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
