and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
is it fun? or sober?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
