that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
