Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm always down for nudity.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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