even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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