K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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