they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
