well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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