Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
