Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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