Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
