The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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