I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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