no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize