I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
