im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
one two three fourrrrnication!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
