VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm at about main and main street
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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