I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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