we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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