You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
