I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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