Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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