tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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