carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it was like eating out sand paper
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Randomize
