Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Is her dick bigger than yours?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
