I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
