my being single is dangerous.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
