She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
