She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
nutella sex= disaster
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize