I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
