If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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