windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
