I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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